


don't fake this

by duskafterdawn



Series: sunrise, sunset [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Established Relationship, F/F, M/M, Pre-Relationship Sakura/Ino, Sakura-centric, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 20:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18431462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duskafterdawn/pseuds/duskafterdawn
Summary: sakura has always known more than she lets on. (alternatively, sasuke and naruto's relationship over the years through the eyes of their best friend.)





	don't fake this

**Author's Note:**

> it's highly recommended reading the first part for this fic to entirely make sense of the sns side of things, but if you're just here for the sakuino it won't matter as much! enjoy.

konoha ripples with low murmurs the morning after uchiha sasuke’s death duel. those who witnessed the duel, seemingly the whole district, passes their take on the fight to anyone who’ll listen, debating it over tables, between doorways, and in the streets. several stories currently exist, but only two really take hold. 

the first: uchiha sasuke won the fight fairly, which is the most likely yet least interesting take. 

the second: uchiha fugaku paid off mizuki to lose the fight, hence why his son didn’t kill him in the ring. 

by mid-morning, the stories are well-trodden. most have gotten tired of debating the uchiha’s win and moved onto other topics of conversation, but sakura still hears bits of “uchiha sasuke” and “bastard” and “doesn’t feel right, right?” as she makes her way through the district center, lugging her black carrying case with her. 

she earns a few looks as she hefts her case to her other arm, but probably thanks to the fact that she stomps her boots loudly against the cobblestones, scowling as if ready to deck someone with her case. she’s used to getting stares from patients and senior staff members at the hospital, questioning her, but as she’s in the open market, lugging her over-sized case with her like some sort of ill-tempered traveler selling her wares, she’s as much as a spectacle as the citizens trying to tempt passersby with their own goods. 

sakura keeps her eyes peeled in case she sees an unruly blond head bobbing in and out of the thick crowds. words bubble on her tongue. a hot swell of anger puffs her chest out, and she clenches her jaw. 

for naruto’s sake, she better not see him. 

“whatcha got there?” 

sakura ignores the man leering at her from the table outside the dingy pub. he sits with an equally drunk friend, who keeps rubbing a thumb on the lip of his empty bottle. he seems to not be paying attention. or just apathetic. 

the first man calls to her again, and sakura switches her case to the hand closest to him. she pictures the metal corner of her case meeting the man in his temple, the heavy weight forcing his head to snap to the side, the contents jingling and rattling from the impact. she huffs under her breath. not good. she doesn’t want to break her things. 

her free hand edges to her leg, where she keeps her many pouches strapped around her thighs. one pouch keeps her small knife sheathed, and her fingers hover just over the hilt. just in case.

she glances out the corner of her eye, but the men stay seated, the first already looking for someone else to bother. 

sakura’s stomach clenches as more and more distance grows between her and the pub. inaction doesn’t feel right. she hears the man’s voice in her head, finding someone else to harass, and sakura scowls, her bad mood worsening. 

naruto better steer clear of her. 

finally, without further incident, she reaches the twisted iron gate, the uchiha family symbol signifying whose home outside of which she stands. she knows the guard just inside the gate recognizes her, but the woman still asks, “business?”

“haruno sakura,” sakura says, trying to keep the grit out of her voice. this lady’s not responsible for any of the reasons why she’s in a bad mood. “i’d like to see sasuke.” 

“wait here.” 

the guard disappears down the path to the uchiha’s house, and sakura sets down her case, her bicep cramping from the strain. her mother’s voice echoes in her head, chiding her for not taking an escort. someone else could have carried her case. someone else could have been with her, possibly deterring the drunken man––

 _stop_. 

she squeezes her eyes shut, rubbing her fingers against her temples. it’s no good to go over what ifs now. not when she was adamant about not taking an escort, to the point where she made sure she slipped out when her mother was preoccupied just so she wouldn’t hear the nagging directed at her back as she left. 

sakura straightens her dark-colored waistcoat and then the sleeves of her overcoat. she tucks a loose piece of short hair behind her ear and then untucks it a moment later. what’s taking so long?

the guard reappears at that moment and unlocks the gate to gesture sakura inward. 

sakura, once again, picks up her case and shuffles inside. 

the guard leads sakura to the main house, despite her being here previously. they pass the massive stretch of gardens, different colored flowers and bushes in full bloom. the combination of trees and other flora do well to hide the house from view, only revealing it once the pathway makes a turn, showing sakura the front door. 

the guard gives a slight nod of the head, meaning sakura can go ahead, and sakura puts her hand on the intricate door handle––metal shaped in a twist of leaves and vines––and steps inside the house to be greeted by another familiar face. 

the old, weathered man smiles at her. at least he’s not pretending to have just met her.

“hello, miss haruno. may i take your briefcase?” 

“oh, no. i’m fine, thank you.” 

the man gestures her forward, taking her through the sweeping foyer and further into the house, past decadent portraits of ancestors, past family heirlooms mounted to the wall. lots of swords. lots of outdated armor. 

the man deposits sakura in the dining area, a proper meeting spot for unmarried individuals. sakura bites the inside of her cheek. she misses the days when she’d be let anywhere in the house. sasuke showed her his room once; she doubts she’ll ever see it again. 

she stands awkwardly by the window. her case rests by her foot, and she’s busy counting ladybugs outside the windowsill when she hears, “sakura, it’s been awhile.”

sakura fully turns, seeing uchiha mikoto standing in the doorway. the dark-haired woman has her arms wide open as she moves in for an embrace, and sakura stiffly returns it, not sure if the pleasantry is true until mikoto says in her ear, “how are things at the hospital? how’s your mother?”

they break apart, and sakura plasters on her best smile. “things are going well.” _mother and i are fighting. again._ “mother’s fine; i think she’s a bit overworked, though.” _that and she won’t listen to me. at all._

mikoto looks down at sakura’s case and then back at her. “dear, you surely didn’t carry that the whole way here.” 

sakura nods. “it’s not that heavy.”

a look crosses mikoto’s face, like sakura’s visage has suddenly changed and she must reevaluate who she’s been looking at. and then she hitches up another smile, putting a hand on sakura’s shoulder, squeezing slightly. “i always forget just how strong you are.”

a statement delivered like a compliment hurts no less than an outright insult. 

sakura tries not to sag under mikoto’s hand. she knows sasuke’s mother doesn’t mean to insult her, but her ego, already sore from last night and the trek here, feels much too bruised. 

mikoto says, “sasuke should be coming.” worry lines crease her forehead. “he’s a bit…slow-moving this morning.” 

“good thing i brought my stuff with me.” 

mikoto looks down at sakura’s case again, to where she nudges it with her foot, and finally realizes what sakura must be here for. mikoto pulls sakura into another hug, squeezing her tight. “thank you, dear.” 

_huh. must be forgiven._

a clunking sound breaks the two women apart, and sakura looks to the doorway to see the youngest uchiha standing there, shoulders stiff and, just as mikoto said, inching his way into the room.

he looks awful. 

sakura’s heart jumps in her chest at the sight of him, but the logical side of her wins out. if he’s moving around, still breathing, then they can fix whatever’s wrong. she has a full case of things and an encyclopedic knowledge of medical texts that will help him in some way. 

sasuke has a rumpled look about him, like perhaps he woke up not long ago. maybe he was woken specifically because of sakura’s arrival. his hair stands on end, as usual, and sakura might think it purposeful except his bangs are a mess, sticking out in careless directions. he still has pillow creases imprinted on one cheek, and sakura even spots that his under-shirt is backwards, the collar too high on the front of his neck. likely he pulled it on because of her arrival. likely because his mother made him.

and with that, sakura remembers that she’s mad at him. 

mikoto looks between her son and sakura and says, “i’ll leave you to it, then.” 

an odd look passes between mother and son, and sakura has to look away because she’s not supposed to know all that it says. 

mikoto leaves the room, and once she’s out of sight, sasuke sags against the doorframe, one of his hands gripping it for support. the lines of tension unfurl from his body but relocate to his face, screwed up in a grimace. he jerks a thumb behind him. “let’s go.”

“go?”

sasuke waves a hand, signifying that she should lower her voice. rude. sasuke may have every reason to be cranky, but so does she. sakura grabs her case and follows behind sasuke as he trudges down the hall, behind his snail’s pace. 

sakura has half a mind to say, “i can carry you on my back, and we’ll make it there faster.” but she doesn’t because she’s too frustrated to even try and jab at him. she stares at the back of his messy head, noting that indeed he has his undershirt on backwards, noting the scratch marks and the deep bruises along his exposed neck and arms that try and dissuade her from her anger.

instead, she clenches her jaw, holding onto it. 

sasuke leads her down the hall to a door, pushing it open to reveal the gardens. sasuke hobbles down the few stone steps and doesn’t look behind to check if sakura follows. she does, though, shutting the door behind them. 

and against her want to give him the silent treatment, to blow up at him, sakura tells him, “i don’t want your mother mad at me again.”

sasuke scoffs, leading her down a maze of bushes and twisting flowers. where was he even taking her? “she was never mad at you.”

“you didn’t see the looks she’d give me.”

sasuke shakes his head. “it’s not you.” 

those three words hurt more than they should, as if sasuke answered a different question of hers instead of explaining that his mother never disliked her. sakura grinds her back teeth together. 

stop, she tells herself. stop whining. 

sasuke goes on, unaware of her thoughts. “she likes you. a lot.” he says it like it’s tiring––on a deep sigh and dragging the words out. as if he can’t believe his mother would. “she never stops asking me about you.” 

and finally, sakura can’t take it anymore. 

“so where’s naruto?”

sasuke’s shoulders tense for a moment, before he looks over his shoulder at her. he wears a cagey expression. he shrugs. “how should i know?”

sasuke steps into a small alcove, an indent in the maze of pathways. the bushes have been trimmed back to allow for a bench to be placed there, a small ways from the path. the tall bushes nearly swallow it from sight, however, looking like an appropriate nest to hide lovers. 

sakura grimaces. if his parents found them here…. 

sasuke pushes past a few overgrown branches and practically throws himself on the bench. “i don’t keep tabs on him,” sasuke lies, and sakura’s grimace deepens. 

“you saw him last night, though, right? because i didn’t.”

sasuke looks at sakura, as if just now realizing that she’s angry. angry at _him_. and suddenly he looks like a cornered animal, nestled deep in the alcove with sakura framed in the entrance, blocking his escape route. “sakura,” he says, slowly. “is there something that you….”

sakura tightens her grip on her case, wanting to throw it at him. _fix your own damn self, you cranky bastard._ instead, she hisses, “i waited for you last night. both of you.” 

sasuke blinks at her, confusion and then finally–– _finally_ ––regret muddling his features. “i’m sorry; i didn’t think….” 

“no, of course you didn’t.” 

sakura marches into the alcove, nearly slamming her case on the bench. sasuke’s apology and look of regret do well to help expunge her frustration, but she needs a little more before she’s truly over it. she tells him, “i always feel like an afterthought, you know.” it hurts admitting it, like the knife she meant to hurt sasuke with is double-ended, stabbing into her as well.

“it’s not like that.” 

“it’s what it feels like.”

sasuke doesn’t have an answer for that. sakura waits and waits for the explanation. for him to admit why she’s been the odd one out for years. just be honest, she wants to yell. she wants to shake him. she wants to yell at him that she knows about naruto and sasuke sneaking around konoha to do more than just _spar_. she wants to yell at him for letting his parents play tug-of-war with her. maybe she has a chance with their son, they must think. maybe sasuke will come around to it eventually. so they treat her like she’s a potential match for him, sequestering them and chaperoning them so they’re almost never _alone_. 

it’s not fair. 

but sasuke keeps staring at her, lips pressed together and his eyes a little wide. he really resembles a caught animal, yet he’s made no move to leave, maybe showing that he deserves this confrontation. 

or that he’s too sore to try and limp away. 

sakura scoffs under her breath, shaking her head. she clicks the dozens of latches on her case, opening it beside sasuke. trays and trays of ointments, disinfectants, gauze, bandages, cotton balls, name it and she has it, all unfold in stacks and stacks, and sakura takes a cursory look over everything to make sure that in her frustration she didn’t accidentally crack anything. 

as she has her attention focused on her case, sasuke puts a hand on her wrist. 

she looks at him.

“sakura, i’m sorry.” 

last night after the duel, she waited outside the arena. she waited as the vendors packed up. the sun below the horizon and the night ushering in. she waited with her arms folded over her chest, glaring at anyone who would try and approach her. ino hadn’t bothered coming, and she’d be upset if she knew that sakura was waiting alone outside the arena. she had lied to ino, telling her she’d be with naruto anyway. 

but she hadn’t seen naruto all day. she should have stopped by sarutobi’s estate, forcing him to come with her, but that was her mistake. she had waited too long, and it had been impossible to track him down before the duel with everyone milling about. she knew that there was no way for naruto to miss the duel; he had to be inside somewhere. 

so she stood outside, waiting to see him emerge from the nest of vipers. whooping and yelling filled the streets around her. she stood straight and tall and in plain sight, eyes roving for a messy-headed blond boy. she thought naruto would have sought her out before the duel to watch it together. to offer each other support. after all, they are _both_ sasuke’s friends. 

perhaps it’s silly, but her feelings are hurt. 

sakura presently stares at sasuke, his grip on her wrist loose enough that she can tug away if she wants. tears well in her eyes. there was a point in her life that she would have done anything for him to even regard her with the look he wears now, his full attention on her alone. 

she no longer feels that way, but…. “i don’t like being a last resort,” she admits. 

“you’re not.” sasuke gives her a long, hard look. he takes a deep breath, and she can’t tell if he’s wincing because of his injuries or because he has to say this, and explains, “naruto barged into my dressing room last night. after.” the more he says, the redder his face turns. “the point is i didn’t ask him to. he just–– he just showed up.” 

“he’s good at that.”

“he’s annoying.” but said so soft, paired with sasuke’s colored cheeks and ears, sakura knows that’s not what he means. “i never asked him, is what i mean. he just…does.”

the anger leaves sakura in one strong push, and she does her best to blink the tears away. “i was really worried about you, you know.” 

sasuke grumbles, looking decently shamed by her teary eyes. 

“i mean it.” 

“yeah, i know.”

she tugs off her overcoat, laying it over the bench, and she begins to roll up her sleeves to her elbows. “so,” she clears her throat. “where’s naruto?” 

“i told you––”

sakura cuts her eyes at him. “i know he sneaks around here at all hours,” she says in a low voice. sasuke can take that as he will. ha. 

but sasuke wears a truly mystified look. “he was here last night, but….” he bites his lower lip, unused to divulging this much with sakura. “he didn’t show up this morning.”

“does he usually?”

a long pause. “yes.”

sakura moves toward sasuke, starting to look over his wounds. mainly bruising and scratches. thankfully nothing worse. likely he’s pulled some muscles, but it’s nothing she can’t fix. she says, “maybe sarutobi finally caught him. i’m surprised he gets anything done.” 

at sarutobi’s name, sasuke stiffens under her hands. a strange look crosses his face. “what do you mean?”

“sasuke,” she rolls her eyes, “nothing he does is really secretive.” _and as hard as you try, neither are you._ “now hold still.” she gets to work on swabbing clean his scratches, some a bit more gruesome than others. 

sasuke doesn’t seem to hear her, now lost in thought. was it what she said about naruto? it wouldn’t surprise her if sarutobi came down hard on him, but she really only said it because…. well, she isn’t sure why. as far as she knows, sarutobi doesn’t really mind what naruto does as long as he does his job, and for as long as she’s known naruto, he’s been reliable. he takes good care of the horses and the stables all on his own, somehow still finding the time to pester his friends, especially sasuke. 

the bend in sasuke’s brow, no doubt from worrying about naruto, is really…. it’s cute. 

sakura straightens up, fixing sasuke with a look. gone are her tears. apparently, between her and sasuke, only one of them can be level-headed at a time. “he’s fine,” she tells him. 

sasuke snaps out of his trance. he stares up at sakura, blinking at her. “i’m not worried.”

they stare at each other.

“right,” sakura finally says. “sure.”

sasuke remarks something under his breath, something about not being naruto’s babysitter. but he protests the point far too much, sakura thinks. 

“your forehead will freeze like that,” she says, nodding at the little line between his brows. “you always look like that when you worry about naruto.” 

sasuke looks like he’s bitten his own tongue, mouth clamped shut and eyes bulging a bit. after a long moment of deliberation, he concedes, “he…gives me a lot to worry about.” 

sakura doesn’t respond, but her fingers slow as she prods sasuke’s shoulder muscles. she stares at the side of his face, wondering just what he’s thinking, what troubles him. 

_naruto, where are you?_

 

the “little get-together” has stretched on, feeling like hours have passed. sakura picks her head up from the table she was left at to look around for her mother, only to finds her still chatting with the same group of people, still laughing and gesturing with her wineglass. sakura throws her head against the back of her chair. 

these parties happen nearly every other week, and sakura wonders just what the adults have to talk about for so long. she’s overheard their conversations. dull droning about prices of things, talking about wages and salaries––things that sakura can’t quite grasp.

she kicks her small feet against the legs of her chair, the ruffle of her long skirt tangling between her legs. 

where did that boy even go? 

her mother had told her to talk to him, and sakura, eight years old and already with very few friends, could see that the boy was like her. sasuke was her age, and she had previously seen him at these parties, alone while the adults talked and talked and talked and _talked_. 

so when her mother made the suggestion, sakura leapt at it. 

but now she looks around the room and can’t find him. she originally sat beside him and asked him what book he was reading, and he mumbled a reply, and she looked away for, like, _one second_ , and by the time she looked back, he was gone. rude! 

sakura gets up and wanders around the room, floating between boring conversations as she looks for anyone else to talk to. ino’s family doesn’t come to these parties, so sakura’s (on-again, off-again) friend wouldn’t be here for her to pester. 

that’s when she finds sasuke, the boy stalking away from his older brother with a rather ruffled expression on his face. uchiha itachi wears a smile, as if he just sent sasuke away. is sasuke as bored as she? 

against everything in her, sakura runs up to his side. 

“where’d you go off to?”

sasuke jerks in surprise at her sudden closeness. he mumbles something she doesn’t quite hear, and she fishes for anything to ask him. to keep the conversation going. her mother always peppered her with advice on how to talk to others, how to negotiate. sakura racks her brain. 

“is it any good?”

“huh?”

sakura points to the book tucked under sasuke’s arm. they continue walking––she has no idea where, just following the boy as he weaves between adults and those serving food. 

“yeah.” 

_hm, no good._ “when do you think they’ll be done? i feel like we’ve been here for ages.” she laughs, sliding closer to sasuke as they wedge themselves _through_ a conversation, the adults frowning at them. 

sakura picks up her skirt, hurrying along as sasuke speeds up. they walk to the edge of the room, and the boy throws himself in one of the window seats, the plush pillows deflating under his weight. the window reflects the bright lights, the crystal chandelier, against the dark night outside. 

sakura stares at the seat. sasuke had thrown himself down, but even so, he kept his legs tucked close to him. leaving enough room for sakura to sit beside him. 

she perches on the bench beside him. she can tell that she’s annoying him. there’s nothing interesting that she has to say; there’s nothing to keep him listening to her. she looks from the corner of her eye to see sasuke fingering the spine of his book, quietly sitting beside her. 

he hasn’t shooed her away, though. 

sakura asks, “was that your brother you were talking to?”

sasuke rolls his eyes, looking at sakura finally. “yeah. he’s being dumb.” 

“why?”

“he won’t take me home.”

sakura laughs abruptly. to hear _the_ uchiha itachi talked about like that… it mismatches her image of the older boy. though itachi is still young, he impresses all his instructors, getting near perfect grades and hitting all his marks in physical training. the adults see him as sort of a prodigy, and as sakura cranes her neck to peek between the maze of legs, sakura sees some old man talking to itachi. 

sakura looks back to sasuke. “i guess he’s busy.” 

sasuke scowls and unfortunately has nothing else to say on the subject. except now, he keeps darting looks to sakura like she might say something. is he waiting for her? 

sakura peddles through all the other information in her head. oh! sakura crosses one leg over the other––just as she’s seen her mother do––and holds up a single finger. “what do you think of that boy?”

sasuke blinks, fingers tightening on his book. “boy?”

“yeah, the one they brought in from the wilds last week. what do you think?”

“i don’t know.”

“they think he’s demon-possessed. or something.” sakura leans in, repeating all the gossip she’s heard about the boy over the last few days. “how do you survive in the wilds like that without some sort of pact with the devil?” 

“do you believe that?”

“well, no. in devils? yes. but i think someone else must have left him outside the gates, or….” she chews on her lip, her words fading away. but sasuke is looking at her, as if waiting for her to say exactly what she thinks. the attention, something not often rewarded to her, feels exhilarating. 

sakura takes a deep breath. “i have a hard time explaining it. but maybe he got left behind? maybe whoever he was with couldn’t keep him anymore.” 

“they say he was just laying there. outside the gates, and not even awake. there was no second set of footprints. no sign of anything.” 

“do you think he wandered away on accident?”

“as far as i know, no one lives in the wilds. and the people who do….” 

“right.” sakura tampers down the smile that threatens to split her face. here she is, talking with someone else, and from the look on sasuke’s face––changed from grumpy to something more open––he wants to talk to her too.

sasuke tilts his head, his too-short, fluffy bangs falling into his eyes, which makes him look more like a bird than sakura would care to point out. she has a feeling he wouldn’t like the comparison. sasuke continues, jerking a thumb at his chest. “well, i’ve talked to him.”

“you have?” sakura’s eyes widen drastically. “how?” 

“just in the district center.” sasuke scoffs. “he’s not demon-possessed. he’s just a kid.” he snorts, like this fact is disappointing. 

“wow,” she mutters under her breath. “does he know anything about the wilds? does he know why he’s here?” 

at this, strangely, sasuke shifts in his seat to fold his arms over his chest. he leaves his book in his lap. “well, i don’t know. i– i didn’t ask any of that.” 

“so what did you ask him?”

“i didn’t ask him anything.” sasuke won’t look at her now. weird. he says, “he….”

“yeah?”

“the idiot tripped over his own two feet _over nothing_ and knocked over a whole display––of apples––and they all went rolling away, and one got crunched under someone’s _foot_ , and––” sasuke cuts himself off, as if realizing that he’s rambling. “anyway, i helped him.” 

“oh.” sakura blinks. “that’s nice of you.” 

“he’s a bit of a walking disaster.” 

and the way he says it makes sakura pause. has sasuke seen the boy since? does he know more than he’s telling her? she’s about to open her mouth and ask when a voice asks, “are you ready now, sasuke?”

sakura looks up to see itachi standing there, smiling at his brother. he looks at her and smiles wider by way of greeting. 

sasuke slaps his hand against his book and jumps to his feet. “i’ve been ready.” 

this makes itachi laugh, and he slides a look to sakura, tipping his head to acknowledge her. itachi then tells his brother, “come on then,” and moves away, disappearing back through the tangle of talking adults. 

sasuke makes to move after him but then halts, like he’s run into an invisible glass wall. he turns slowly, gripping his book in his hands. “goodnight, sakura.” 

sakura’s cheeks turn hot. giddy, she nearly shouts, “goodnight!” 

sasuke has already disappeared, running after his brother, when sakura realizes she never introduced herself to him. 

 

parties become more bearable after that night. while sakura and sasuke may not technically be considered friends, they can sit next to each other and trade gossip for however long they’re sentenced to suffering through the night. itachi will then usually collect sasuke and take him home early, effectively ending the interesting part of sakura’s night. 

this pattern continues for a year or so. 

interestingly, itachi has stopped leaving early, choosing to continue talking with the same adults over and over. sasuke tries to leave without him one night, and sakura doesn’t have to hear the conversation he has with his parents, his father gesticulating at his son and mouth moving in muted fury, to know that sasuke won’t try that again. 

it’s some time after that fight when sakura notices that sasuke has started to slip away halfway through the night. 

he’ll spend the first half talking to her, or letting her talk his ear off with random facts, emptying out all the things she’s been dying to say. her mother can only take so much listening, and sakura isn’t able to see ino just any time she wants. no, the periods between someone listening to her are far and few between. 

at some point in the night, though, sasuke will hand sakura whatever book he’s brought with him. after the first few times, sakura learns it’s a good way to distract her because whenever she’ll eventually look up, the boy is gone. 

this hurts at first, but sakura quickly rationalizes that maybe he wants to talk to others; they’re not the only kids here. or maybe he wants to try and follow his brother’s example, inquiring after adults and the things they have to say. 

but he’s nowhere to be found. at the end of the night, he’ll reappear at her side and ask how she liked the book, and she’ll tell him her thoughts, and a few times she’s tried asking about where he goes, and he lies to her that he’s been socializing. 

sakura cannot figure him out. 

so one night, approaching her birthday––she’ll be ten and her mother says she needs to start paying more attention to what’s happening around her, but she has no idea that sakura’s _always_ paid attention––sakura resolves to solve the mystery. 

sasuke hands her his book, something she’s already read, and she pretends to be invested in it. she sits on the window bench, alternating between reading the same lines over and over and watching sasuke from the corner of her eye. 

the boy’s bangs have grown out long around his face, a style that she’s noticed that he likes, and he plays with a piece of hair between his fingers. he seems to be waiting. 

but so is she. 

finally, sasuke must decide she’s thoroughly absorbed because he mutters something unintelligible and slips off the bench as quietly as he can. it takes everything in sakura to not jump up and run after him. instead, she lets him get halfway across the room before she calmly stands, bringing sasuke’s book with her. 

she’d feel terrible should someone else nab it. 

she follows sasuke, keeping a great deal of distance between them and watches as he slides down an adjacent hall when no one’s looking. technically, they’re not supposed to leave the spacious ballroom, but it’s a public building and not someone’s home, so sakura feels less bad about sneaking around the hallways. 

she watches him walk down another hallway before slipping out a window, and this is when sakura starts to worry, because this is not what she expected. 

with only minor difficulty, sakura crawls out the window after him, tucking the book under her arm and tugging her skirt and petticoats above her knees. she grumbles as an errant branch grabs at them. then she lands in the immaculate garden, among the pruned pathways of bushes and flowers. 

the mystery is not quite as interesting as she imagined.

sakura, fearing she lost sasuke, sneaks forward, eyes darting in the darkness. did she make a mistake? he must have went elsewhere, and she missed him while she fought with branches. stupid skirt! the moon does well to light the way, but even then she can’t find the dark-haired boy. 

and then she hears the in-and-out of voices. one pierces the night, and another comes in quickly, like it shushes the first. 

sakura presses forward…

…to find sasuke hidden behind a tree trunk, back against the tall iron fence that surrounds the property, and a blond boy standing beside him, a wide grin tacking up the corners of his mouth. even in the dim moonlight sakura can see the scars on his cheeks––the boy from the wilds. 

sasuke isn’t sneaking out. he isn’t doing anything half as dangerous as she thought she’d find. he may be sneaking this boy in, which is…interesting, but not as intriguing or scandalous as she hoped. 

sakura then does the worst thing she could do. 

“so this is where you go?”

because the look on sasuke’s face, finally settled in a happy, easy expression, dissolves as he looks at her, where she stands in the open and staring at him and his secret. too late, sakura claps a hand over her mouth.

sasuke glares at her like she’s stomped on his foot. 

she fears that she has, though. it had been easy before. she pretended that she knew nothing about sasuke sneaking off, and he pretended that she knew nothing, and it was an unspoken agreement between them, and she’s gone and ruined it. after all, they aren’t even friends. 

but, as usual, when presented with information, sakura can’t help letting on just how much she knows. 

the boy, the one from the wilds, rubs a hand through his messy hair, and says, “hi, are you sakura?” 

“um….” sakura looks between sasuke, angry, and naruto, none the wiser. “yes,” she says. she has to find a way to apologize to sasuke. she can keep a secret, right? she has to make sure that he knows she won’t go blabbing. 

“i’m naruto.” the boy smacks sasuke’s arm, which she’s never seen _anyone_ do, and he says, “sasuke’s told me about you. your hair’s really cool.” 

sasuke still stares at sakura like he hopes she combusts into flames. 

naruto keeps talking, so unaware. “sasuke was just telling me about the old man, danzo what’s-his-face, knocking over a whole tray of drinks.”

“yeah,” sakura says, hollowly. that had happened earlier in the night. elder shimura had been angry and accidentally knocked into one of the server’s, sending a full pitcher and wineglasses to the floor. glass and wine had gone everywhere. the poor server’s shoes were soaked. sakura felt bad for the old man, embarrassing himself in front of everyone, but the way naruto laughed made it seem like he deserved it. 

and for some reason, _that_ more than anything makes her snap, “how’d you get in?” 

naruto immediately points above at the tree, its branches stretching a little over the tall fence. on the other side of the fence another tree stretches so their branches almost meet. sakura’s mouth falls open as she realizes the implication. 

“you jumped?” 

sasuke fists a hand in naruto’s shirt, speaking only to him now. “shut up,” he spits. “now she’s going to tell everyone.” 

“oh. well, uh––”

sakura curls her fists together, and it takes all her willpower to not stamp her foot in the grass. “i will _not_.” she walks forward, closing in on the two boys despite sasuke’s expression. “look, i just wanted to know where you went.” she has eyes only on sasuke, but she feels naruto’s bounce between them both. “i shouldn’t have snooped around, but…” she sucks in a breath, “…don’t be nasty to me. i– i won’t tell.” 

naruto chimes in, “yeah, sasuke, you _are_ kinda being mean.” 

two against one now, sasuke looks between sakura and naruto, and he seems to realize that he’s the one backed against the fence, naruto and sakura pressing in on him. he slides a look over naruto before settling on sakura, staring at her. “he’s not supposed to be here.” 

_if you tell, then i can’t do this anymore._

“i know,” sakura quickly says. she draws an x over her heart. “i swear that i won’t tell.” 

sasuke presses his lips together as if presented a difficult task he can’t quite puzzle through. sakura wonders if he knows he still has a hand twisted in naruto’s shirt. 

he says, “fine.” and with that word he slumps against the fence, folding his arms over each other. he looks like he still might be angry, but naruto doesn’t notice, putting a hand on sasuke’s shoulder and shaking him before turning bright eyes on sakura. 

“that’s really cool of you, sakura.” 

“well, i– uh….”

“we’re like special ops. like sneaking around and keeping secrets, huh?” naruto then slings an arm around sakura’s shoulders, jostling her as naruto twirls them around. “danger at every corner,” he declares, “us against the world.” 

when they stop spinning, naruto releases her to throw his hands up like he’s about to fight an invisible foe. he play fights with no one for a moment, which gives sakura enough time to register the tingling in her arms and middle––no one beside ino has ever freely touched her like that. 

sasuke has gone back to looking like she’s hurt him in some way. 

but she likes the way naruto’s bright eyes look to her, asking her if she knows how to fight and if she’d ever try making the jump between the trees. 

sakura tells him no, but not to disappoint, she supplies, “i crawled out the window. i’m going have to get back in.” 

crawling back in a first-floor window is nowhere near as impressive as jumping _tree to tree_ , but naruto lifts his eyebrows and acts as if it is. he gestures to her skirt. “does that make it easier or harder?” he pulls at his own threadbare trousers, and sakura suddenly realizes he’s barefoot, his toes wiggling in the short grass. “sometimes my pants get snagged on stuff.” he points out where threads have come loose, and she notes the knees of his pants have been worn thin. 

sakura answers, “for some stuff, a skirt is easier.” she kicks, showing off just how much range of movement she has, and thankfully she wore her striped tights today. “but for climbing and stuff, it’s just a pain. it gets caught on everything.” 

naruto considers this for a moment, nodding like she’s made a good point.

sasuke has been silent for a long time, eyes just bouncing between naruto and sakura. sakura tries to ignore him, but she feels like something sharp has settled between them, poking her even when she tries to not think about him. 

“we should go back,” sasuke declares after a moment. “they’ll notice if two of us are gone.” 

“alright,” naruto says easily. he grabs sasuke by the back of his collar as the dark-haired boy tries to move past, and naruto slings an arm around his neck, leaning his full weight on him. “don’t worry about it, okay?” and then quieter, so quiet that sakura might not have heard if she wasn’t focusing so hard on his words, “you told me that sakura’s nice; i believe her.” 

sakura flushes. 

naruto walks with them back to the window, watching as sasuke jiggles it open and heaves himself up and inside. sakura’s not sure if it’s of his own accord or because naruto’s watching but after a slight pause, he extends a hand toward her. 

sakura bites the inside of her cheek and ignores his hand, grabbing the sill and heaving herself up. her arms shake slightly from exertion, but both boys are watching and she grits her teeth, kicking her legs to try and muster some momentum, and she pushes herself past the sill, tumbling inside and onto the plush carpet. 

maybe she didn’t land as gracefully as sasuke, but at least she did it herself. 

she stands and offers naruto a wave, who enthusiastically waves back. “see ya,” he says, and he sprints back across the grass. 

sasuke closes the window and turns on his heel. 

sakura half-jogs to walk beside him, and she remembers how naruto grabbed him––how he grabbed _her_. she wants to snag sasuke by the arm. jerk him around. make him stop. 

“sasuke.” she says his name with enough force to stop a runaway cart, the brick and mortar in her voice creating a sturdy wall into which sasuke runs––or she hopes. 

but sasuke does stop, shiny shoes stubbing into the carpet and nearly tripping. “wh– what?”

“you don’t have to worry about me. i promise.” 

a look passes between them. with naruto out of sight, her words can’t be considered as just for his benefit. she slides a hand into the deep pocket of her skirt, past her magnifying glass and scraps of paper with half-formed notes and ino’s chewed on pencil that she borrowed. she retrieves sasuke’s book and holds it in the space between them; she stored it in her skirt for safe-keeping. 

sasuke stares at the book as if having just watched a miracle. “you kept it.” 

“i wasn’t just going to leave it behind. it’s your book.” sakura waits a beat and adds, “i’m a nice person.”

sasuke looks scandalized, mouth opening and shutting like a loose hinge. 

“your words not mine.” 

sasuke takes the book back and finally looks a bit sorry. “he’s my friend,” sasuke grumbles. “i don’t think my family will let me see him, so….” 

sakura has a lot of questions. it’s not hard to see why sasuke’s family, rich as they are, wouldn’t let him see naruto, a grubby boy working on sarutobi’s estate. her own family is rich, but the difference between their families includes several more zeroes. and prestige. anyway, sakura knows that sasuke himself is rather secluded, connecting with very few children, and she’s never seen him look as he did when she came upon him tonight.

she draws over her heart again and holds out her hand, palm up. “i swear, sasuke, that i won’t say anything. to anyone.” 

sasuke looks at her open hand. “what– what are you….” 

“if you accept, you draw over your heart and put your hand in mine.” 

“i’ve never seen anyone do this.”

_well, you talk to, like, three people: me, your brother, and apparently naruto._

sasuke, after drawing in a deep breath, slices a finger over the lapels of his jacket, over his heart, and puts his palm against sakura’s. “now what?” 

“grab my wrist,” she directs as she grabs his. just as his fingers enclose around it, she gives their linked arms a firm shake, then releases him. “now we break apart, but the promise is still intact.”

“i’ve really never heard of this before.”

“yeah, well, we learn new things every day.” 

“what are you two doing? you’re not meant to be back here.” the firm voice disrupts their moment, and sasuke and sakura wrench away from each other, having drifted too far into each other’s personal space. 

the older gentleman puts his hands on his hips, giving them a harsh look. his bush of a beard twitches in derision as he huffs, “just what were you doing?” 

the man’s gaze settles on sakura, on her rumpled skirt, and sakura feels a trickle of embarrassment. but why should she be embarrassed? she did nothing––or so the man knows. he can’t have known they were outside. so why is he staring at her like that––

sasuke says, “i got bored, and she was trying to get me to come back to the party.” he holds up his book as if that should explain it, but it really doesn’t, and the man doesn’t look like he believes him, but waves them forward anyway. “i’ll have to tell your parents.” 

sasuke nor sakura say anything in response, shuffling forward into the ballroom, but even as they walk back into the wide room, arms at their sides and decidedly keeping their eyes forward, sakura feels as if something has solidified between them. the sharp points retracted, replaced by something much more understanding.

she knows something no one else does. 

 

sakura’s very aware of her promise, of how she covers for sasuke at parties from then on, fibbing that she has no idea where he is, of how if she follows sasuke to see naruto that she’s the one to return first because sasuke’s right. one gone is a non-issue. two gone is trouble. 

naruto regards her, though, like _that_ ––like she’s someone, like she matters––and it’s no longer just a promise for sasuke alone. 

sometimes she sees naruto while she’s out, on her way to the hospital with her mother. he’ll wave at her, and she’ll wave back, and her mother asks her where she knows him from, and she has to lie, but it’s a lie well-kept. one all her own. 

 

naruto has a penchant for trouble. it’s yet to be proven whether he causes trouble or attracts it, but either way he finds himself in it––frequently. the first time he shows up in the garden with a black eye, sakura and sasuke have no idea what to say. it takes them a moment, standing shoulder to shoulder, looking between naruto’s black eye and the grin on his face. 

sasuke’s the one to find his words first, asking with the ghost of a laugh in his voice, “what’d you do? pick a fight?”

“no.” naruto’s grin never falters, looking between sakura and sasuke as if just happy to see them. 

naruto never mentions it, but over the next few weeks, naruto’s skin becomes littered with bruises, some old and some new, a layered mess of blue and green. the bruises themselves never show on his face, always under his shirtsleeves or peeking at sakura through the holes in his clothes. 

sakura pulls sasuke aside one night after they’ve left naruto. she knows that the boys see each other more often, that they talk in the district center when they can, so sasuke must know something about it, right? 

but sasuke’s face twitches, reflecting the distress on sakura’s as he admits that he doesn’t. 

sakura spends the next two weeks worrying about naruto. every time she goes out with her mother, sakura searches the streets for a certain blond head, even if to just see that he’s okay. the idea of someone hurting naruto…. it makes every muscle in sakura’s body hurt, her fists shaking as she roves over the possibilities of _who_ it is. 

but she has no idea. 

two weeks later, the next time she sees sasuke at another party, he plops down beside her on the window seat and says, “i know what’s going on.” 

“you do?” 

sasuke nods and stares at the floor. he folds his arms over his chest, but with his shoulders hunched forward, it looks more defensive than defiant. he says, “he won’t tell me who it is. no matter how many times i ask….” he kicks at the floor, his chin puckering as he pouts. “but it has to either be someone at the estate or at the training fields.” 

sakura wants to ask how he knows, what naruto told him, but she instead she clarifies, “the training fields?” 

“he’s said before that they don’t want him there. which if he can’t go, then where _does_ he go?” 

the training fields are open to the public, a large space for any citizen to train for as long as they want with different styles of equipment. weapons, punching bags, plenty of space to run…. but for citizens who can afford to, they pay high wages for instructors to privately train their children. 

sakura nor sasuke, especially considering that sasuke’s family owns the arena, ever had to visit the training fields.

“everyone has _some_ level of training,” sasuke states. “naruto hasn’t. he has no idea how to defend himself, and if he goes there, then i bet he just becomes target practice.” sasuke clenches his jaw, his fingers drilling into his arm. “i don’t know what to do.” 

sakura doesn’t know either. 

some nights she thinks about naruto, having no family, living above the stable in which he works day in and day out. she knows that naruto has made friends with a militia member, umino iruka, but still…. as much as sakura squirms under her mother’s firm hand, at least she’s _there_. 

“what are we going to do?” 

sasuke looks at sakura, wrenched out of his own thoughts. he blinks before narrowing his eyes, a determined look crossing into them. “i’ll help him.” 

_you? what about me?_ “h– how so?” 

“i know some moves that might work, and he’s not a complete idiot. it shouldn’t be hard to teach the dolt how to defend himself.” 

_let me help._ “that might work. he should…probably tell someone, though. about all this.” 

sasuke shrugs, and sakura takes that as his way of acknowledging her without agreeing. something at which he’s become very good.

 

“yeah, he gets his ass handed to him on the regular.” 

sakura bites her lip, looking down at her hands where they fist in her skirt. she sits in the middle of her bedroom, the contents of her sewing kit strewn around her in a colorful circle. ino sits on sakura’s canopy bed, looking at her with a mystified expression. 

ino’s blond hair reminds her of naruto’s, even if it’s not really the same shade. maybe that’s what started the conversation. maybe that’s why she asked ino if she knew anything about the boy. her conversation with sasuke the other night should have made her feel better but it only made her feel worse. hands tied behind her back. forced to watch from the sidelines. 

ino gestures with her hands as she says, “it’s really sad, actually.” her voice doesn’t indicate just how sad it is, but she goes on, “no one bothers sticking up for him. i mean, no one really wants to stick up for a little _demon-boy_ ––”

“can you stop calling him that?”

“it’s true, though.” ino raises her eyebrows. “sakura, it’s weird how he showed up. it’s _weird_ he doesn’t even live with the other orphans. it’s no wonder the district leader wants to keep an eye on him.” 

sakura curls her fingers even tighter. “he’s not possessed, ino. don’t be stupid.” 

“i dunno,” the other girl sing-songs, and her words dig under sakura’s skin. sakura knows that ino likes to listen to gossip and regurgitate it for sakura, but she’s too smart to take most of it to heart. sakura knows she’s doing it to make her mad. ino continues, “whether he’s possessed or not, people see him as a target. they think he deserves it.” 

sakura jumps to her feet, thread and scraps of fabric falling to the floor. she made a mistake asking ino. she should have kept her thoughts to herself. “just shut up, okay?” 

ino’s eyes glint, and she sits up straighter on the bed. she doesn’t dare smile, but the firm line of her mouth may as well be a cruel curve, edging sakura closer to her limit. “why should i?”

“because i said so.”

“all you ever talk about is sasuke, sasuke, sasuke, and now naruto.” ino flips her hand, as if to brush both boys aside. “well, i’m sick of it. how about that?” 

“they’re my friends.”

“well, i’m tired of talking about _them_.” 

“what––”

“am _i_ your friend?”

sakura blinks. “y– you are.”

but the hesitation speaks loud enough. ino’s eyebrows furrow and her hands curl in on themselves, and she looks like she might throw a punch, throw one of sakura’s pillows at her, but instead she snarls, “well, then act like it! act like my friend.” 

sakura wants to argue; she wants to point out that they fight far too often and that they don’t read the same books and that ino doesn’t care about her other friends and that ino makes fun of her for having interests outside of gossiping and sewing. 

but sakura pauses. she’s not sure why. later, she’ll think it’s because of the look on ino’s face––not gloating at sakura but one looking at her full of hurt––and she’ll understand that ino only wants what sakura does. the full attention of someone else. 

but right now all sakura knows is that she’s tired. she sinks back down to the floor and she grumbles, “sorry.”

ino rolls her eyes and swipes the back of her hand across the bridge of her nose. sakura only caught the movement from the corner of her eyes but by the time she looks up, ino’s regarding her with a strange look. no tears to be found. 

ino says, “you and sasuke are the same.” 

the words slam sakura’s ever-racing thoughts to a halt. “huh?” 

the other girl grimaces. she’s only seen sasuke from afar, never having a proper conversation with him, but sakura’s told her more than enough. “you both don’t share. you want to do everything by yourselves.” 

“th– that’s not true.”

“you’re nicer than he is,” ino concedes, tilting her head to the side. she leans back on her hands, which tells sakura that she’s not really angry anymore. “you’re nicer, but you both are so focused on yourselves that you forget that you’re not alone.” 

“ino….”

ino puffs her chest out, finally regaining that regality about her dually impresses and frustrates sakura. she looks down at sakura from the bed and jabs a thumb at herself. “so what i’m saying is don’t be stupid; you can rely on me, too, y’know?” 

“i know.”

ino drops her hand to the bed, and she looks away. “alright. good.” 

sakura starts to gather her sewing materials that fell from her lap, putting them back in their neat piles. for once, she has no idea what to say to fill the silence. it feels odd, receiving a scolding from ino, but…. she deserved it. so focused was she on being important to sasuke and naruto that she forgot about ino. 

sakura looks up, setting aside her fabrics and once again getting to her feet. ino still won’t look at her, and images of naruto grabbing her, holding onto her tingle in her memories. she stands up. she walks forward to place herself in front of the other, in front of the spread of her skirt and the bend of her knees. sakura places both her hands on ino’s shoulders. 

ino slides her a look. “what are you––”

sakura wrenches ino into a hug, gripping the girl tightly. between them, it’s always ino instigating. tugging on and playing with sakura’s hair. fixing the crooked folds of sakura’s outfit after sakura tugs it on without looking in a mirror. nudging sakura to whisper in her ear. pulling on her sleeve to get sakura to look at her. tapping her shoulder to afford her attention. 

sakura leans awkwardly over her bed to pull ino into her, but she doesn’t move, just holding the other girl. and ino seems to be unwilling to move either. “sorry,” sakura says again. 

“yeah, yeah, okay.” 

sakura breaks the hug and asks, “what do you know about knives?” 

ino breaks into a grin. “why? you wanna learn?” 

“yeah.” sakura smiles. “yeah, i do.” 

 

sakura pulls out her knife from its sheath to cut off a strip of cloth. “well, that’s handy,” sasuke comments. likely he’s buttering her up because he feels bad for upsetting her. 

sakura makes no comment. 

she wraps the bandage around his bicep, where one of his scratches looks deep, the edges of his skin torn to shreds. it’s not like he was sliced by a blade, but still… sakura worries about the spread of infection. especially when one rolls around on a dirty mat with a sweaty stranger. 

sakura sheathes her knife, the decorated handle of flowers resting warm against her thigh. the blade is only about four inches in length, relatively small, but ino, when she gave it to her assured her it was “strong as hell.” 

_“you can really do damage with it. if you want.”_ ino’s look had lingered on the hilt and then back on sakura, like she was supposed to read something in the gesture, but sakura couldn’t find one. it still dwells on her mind. 

“there.” sakura steps back from sasuke. “you’re likely fine, but as you already know, you’re going to be sore for a few days.” she gives him a heavy look, hands on her hips. “no strenuous activity.” _no entertaining a certain blond boy._ “even when you think you’re feeling better, you can still strain your muscles, so in two weeks i don’t want to hear about this or that hurting. got it?” 

sasuke gives her a sheepish nod. he pulls his undershirt back on, painfully slow, and sakura starts putting back her case, methodically returning all her supplies. 

no. wait. 

sakura’s hands pause, and she lets out a small sigh. she stares at sasuke’s profile, at the small grimace on his mouth as he finally works his arms through their proper holes. sakura sighs louder and, plunging headfirst into frigid waters, she declares, “i know about you and naruto.”

and into frigid waters she does plunge. all noise––the twittering of birds, the rustle of wind in the branches––disappears in an instant. silence swallows their little alcove, and sasuke may as well be a marble statue, carefully sculpted and chiseled to capture the likeness of movement––one hand stretched behind him to fix the back of his shirt and the second by his neck in an unknown gesture. his eyes stay forward, to the exit, choosing to not look at sakura.

and then, a small croak: “i’m sorry?”

sakura clicks her case shut. she turns to face him, arms folded over her chest. “you and naruto. don’t play dumb.” 

“i really don’t––”

years and years worth of holding her tongue finally sets it loose, and sakura snaps, “i’ve seen the way you hang onto each other, sasuke. every time i got close to naruto, you’d bite my head off.”

sasuke is definitely choosing not to look at sakura. he denies, “that’s–– i know i was mean to you, but––”

“i liked _you_ , not him.”

sasuke whips his head to her, cracking his spine. he blinks wide eyes. “you, what?”

“you couldn’t tell?”

“no. _absolutely not._ ”

sakura chooses to believe him because his expression is so stricken, so unguarded, that it’s actually comical, but later she can relive this moment, laughing about it to herself. now she needs to clear the air. “you’ve only been close with naruto. yes, you have other friends. yes, friends can just be friends, but,” sakura pinches the bridge of her nose. “last year, at the hyuuga’s party?”

sasuke blinks at her and then recognition dawns on his face. he puts his head in his hands, like he knows what she’s about to say. 

sakura plows onward. “you–– for the love of all that’s good in this world, sasuke, i watched you––”

“okay. i get it. okay.”

sasuke once again shirked a party halfway through in favor of sneaking away. except this one, celebrating hyuuga hinata’s birthday, meant that adults weren’t around and was significantly more lively as a result. sakura had no idea what possessed her in that moment. maybe it was the influence of the alcohol. she hadn’t spied on naruto and sasuke in years. if sasuke snuck away, she assumed it was to go see naruto. she already knew somewhere deep down that the bond between the two boys transcended the easy and comfortable friendship they both maintained with her, and she had stopped trying to chase after them in that way. 

anyway. she was buzzed. she and her mother were fighting again about sakura being a medic versus taking over the business portion of the hospital. regardless, when she showed up to the hyuuga’s party, she went for the alcohol. 

and when she saw sasuke leave…. well, if sasuke was going to leave and see naruto then she wanted to see him too. naruto was good at letting her complain. he couldn’t offer practical suggestions, instead just saying that he believed in her and she was stronger than she even knew, yada yada. it sounded like what she needed. 

anyway. that is not what she got. 

she should have told sasuke she was following him. she should have shouted after him. instead, she lost him as he disappeared into the forest. sakura knew the way to the lake, though. even if the alcohol in her system dulled her senses. 

she should have wondered why they were meeting at the lake. why trawl through the forest with no one else around?

looking on the other side of events, after they have already taken place, makes them so much clearer. 

anyway. sakura stumbled through the bushes, and it’s a miracle that neither boy realized she was there with her crashing through the forest, but when she stepped through the tangle of trees, her nice shoes sinking into the sand, she saw them. 

she opened her mouth to signal her arrival, but before she could, sasuke opened his.

and kissed naruto. 

sakura sums up the night in about three words––“i _saw_ you.”––and sasuke looks close to imploding. 

sasuke doesn’t try to refute it anymore, finally accepting that sakura knows. he turns his head to her, looking up from the cage of his hands.

he looks vaguely miserable, so sakura snaps, “is it really so bad? me knowing?”

“no, i suppose not.” the tone of his voice suggests differently. 

“what are you so scared of?” 

“nothing.”

“if you lie to me one more time….”

“you should already know what i’m,” he makes a face, “scared of.” 

“you’ve been clear to draw a circle around you and naruto, conveniently leaving me out of the loop.” she holds up a hand before sasuke can retort. “i’m not mad about _that_ ––not anymore. you two are my friends, and it makes sense that you’re friends with each other. more than friends, really. you’ve always been that way. it wasn’t surprising to me; maybe at first, but it makes sense to me.

“but still. there’s things you’ve been clear to leave me out of. and i don’t know if it’s because you’re protecting yourself or naruto or the both of you, but,” sakura uncrosses her arms, presenting sasuke her open palms, “i’m not the one who’ll hurt you.”

for the second time today, sasuke looks ashamed of himself. he gestures sakura closer and motions to the bench. 

she perches on it. 

“i can’t,” he stops, chewing on his lower lip. “i can’t give you the full details, but my family’s in a bit of a…situation. always have been, really.” sasuke narrows his eyes at her. “if i say ‘i’ll tell you later,’ will you deck me?”

“not as long as you really mean it.”

sasuke draws an x over his heart and holds out his open palm to her. sakura matches his movement and wordlessly reaches out, grasping his wrist and then they break the hold––promise made. 

“anyway,” sasuke says slowly, “it has to do with a certain prominent figure in our district. someone naruto may or may not be working for.”

_the district leader?_

“if my family knows about how close we are, i don’t think it’ll be good for naruto. i don’t want him wrapped up in it all, and that’s what they’ll want. they’ll think he’s our in, and _i_ don’t want that. plus, if saru–– uh, that person knows….” sasuke shakes his head. “naruto trusts him too much.”

“and you trust…that certain someone not at all.” 

sasuke nods.

sakura brushes aside all the implications of this, the revelations trying to overturn all of her memories, explanations of sasuke’s attitude toward things that have happened in recent years. she can ponder all of it later. she asks, “so what are you going to do?”

sasuke blinks at her. “do?”

“yeah. how are you going to go forward? you and naruto aren’t going to remain a secret forever. i’m sure most people already think you’re a couple. or figure you will be. you think i didn’t notice you using me as a cover up?”

“…sorry.” 

“after i found you two making out, it made much more sense, but like i said, i had an idea.”

“we– we weren’t together then.” sakura’s about to nag at sasuke for another lie, but he says, “we’ve only been…like this for a few months now.” 

“shut your mouth.”

“i’m not lying to you!” sasuke slaps a hand to his forehead. “this was a mistake. i should’ve died last night.” 

“you and naruto swap spit on a beach and go on as ‘friends’ for months after? uchiha sasuke, that’s the worst thing i’ve heard. i feel sorry for naruto.” because there’s no doubt in sakura’s mind between the two boys who would cause months of more dancing around feelings. 

sasuke drags his hands down his face. “this was a mistake.” 

but when sasuke stands he grumbles that he wants sakura to follow him, and as they leave, sakura lugs her case while sasuke lugs himself. and between the two of them, he seems to be the one struggling most. 

they walk in silence, and as much of a long-suffering front he puts up, sakura can tell that he doesn’t truly regret telling her his secret. he reaches out, holding the back of her vest with one hand and the other sliding her coat from beneath her arm to carry it himself. he limps along, this time walking beside her. 

nothing has changed between them, but then again, sakura feels as it if has. it’s as if, so tightly wound all the time, sasuke feels comfortable enough to unwind, and after ten years of guarding himself around her, despite them being friends, that he finally feels that he can. 

sakura rolls her eyes. ino was right about him. 

but she had been wrong about one thing. sasuke does care about those around him, just not in a way that many are allowed to see. 

sasuke directs her back to his room, and sakura hesitates. she looks him in the eye, and something in his gaze reminds her of the looks he exchanged with his mother. is it willful ignorance on his mother’s part? wishful thinking? sasuke’s never once been interested in anyone, as far as his parents know. is sakura just the one they latch onto? hoping sasuke will say that he loves her? 

sakura steps forward, toward sasuke’s room. she’s tired of adjusting her behavior based on what others may think. 

sasuke shuts his bedroom door behind him. sakura does a quick glance around the room, seeing that it hasn’t changed much since she last saw it so many years ago. painfully tidy. sakura can’t tell if that’s thanks to sasuke or a maid. 

sasuke eases onto his bed and says, “look out the window; see if he’s there.” he leans back on his elbows, wincing slightly. 

with a start, sakura realizes what he means. 

she sets down her case and darts to sasuke’s window, pushing the heavy draperies aside, looking out the glass. “is… i don’t see him.” 

“open the window. stick your head out.”

sakura fiddles with the lock and slides the window upward. she sticks her head out, and sure enough, she sees tufts of blond hair peeking out from behind one of the bushes. naruto is not quite out of sight, but someone quickly glancing out sasuke’s window wouldn’t have seen him.

it takes a moment before naruto trips out of the bush. “sakura?”

sakura whisper-shouts, “shut up! get in here.”

she moves away from the window so naruto can crawl inside, and he clumsily does it, foot catching on the sill and making far too much noise. horrified, sakura wonders to herself how more people don’t know about them. 

naruto swivels around the room before his eyes land on sasuke, who’s taken to lying back on his pillows. an arm thrown over his face. a bit dramatic, sakura thinks, but she tries to not judge him too much. he’s done a lot in the past twenty-four hours between fighting someone to the death and confessing his feelings to sakura (probably equivocal in his mind); he’s likely going through an emotional upheaval. 

naruto hops over to sasuke’s bed, nearly pouncing on it, and sakura darts her eyes away. the two boys have always been rather…close. physically. emotionally. like she said, nothing about this surprised her.

but suddenly she feels as if she’s intruding on something private. 

“sasuke, are you okay? how are you feeling?”

“a lot better if you’d stop sitting on my arm.” 

“i’m not.”

“you are.”

naruto looks to sakura, a grin stretching his face. “did you fix him up?” 

sakura folds her arms again. “i did the best i could, but i couldn’t do anything for the attitude. i’m afraid it’s critical.” 

naruto stuffs a hand over his mouth to keep himself from barking out a laugh and the shake of his shoulders gets sakura going as well. soon they’re a pair of jitters, looking at sasuke’s unamused expression and then each other and laughing even _harder_. 

“oh, yes,” sasuke drawls, “team up against me. i’ve only been wounded physically and now emotionally; i’m fine.” 

naruto finally pulls a hand away and asks him, “how are you feeling today? for real this time.” 

“fine.”

“make sure you do whatever sakura says.”

“oh, i’ll be sure to.” sasuke’s hand finds the corner of naruto’s shirt, the edge slipping out from where it’s haphazardly tucked into his worn-out trousers, and he runs his finger along it, as if deciding what to do with it. he then grips the hem in his fist, like one would do to leash an escaping child. “what took you so long? i half-expected you to beat the window down this morning.” 

_where were you?_

sakura remembers sasuke’s concerned expression when she brought up sarutobi and naruto’s whereabouts. 

“o– oh. well.” naruto scratches the back of his head. “y’know that i was tired. i accidentally overslept. got yelled at. i actually need to go back soon….”

while sasuke can lie exceptionally well, his only tell being that sakura’s known him for so long that she can spy his inconsistencies, naruto cannot lie. at all. if he has to lie, he opts to withhold information, because just as he had moments ago, he starts stuttering and stumbling through a series of events to over-explain the situation. 

and sasuke is trying to keep secrets with _him_. bless them both. 

naruto whirls, his shirt pulling tight where sasuke still clenches it, but he pays no mind, more focused on pointing a finger at sakura. “actually, i was trying to find you this morning! i stopped by, but your mother said you weren’t home, that you were probably here.” naruto makes to lay a hand on sasuke’s stomach but sees that sakura’s watching and quickly drops it back to the covers. 

everyone notices, though.

sasuke huffs a sigh and grabs naruto’s hand, laying it where he wanted it to be. palm spread on the thin material of sasuke’s undershirt, fingers on the lightly defined muscles of his stomach. a dark flush spreads across naruto’s face as he looks between sakura and then sasuke and then back to sakura––

“she knows,” sasuke says simply.

naruto’s face clouds with confusion and then like the sun after the storm, a smile breaks through. “oh, _finally_.” 

sasuke’s face twitches––is that a smile?

sakura spies something else on naruto’s face as he bites his lower lip. _he wants to tell sasuke something._ but then naruto shakes his head, and he scoots closer to sasuke before draping himself across the other. 

sasuke wheezes even though naruto does it as gently as can be––so dramatic––but makes no other protest at the closeness. 

sakura takes up her case and edges toward the door. “i’ll leave you to it, then,” she chuckles. her chest feels tight and warm. not in an angry way but in a…happy way. she’s happy for them.

“sakura,” naruto calls, a bit loudly. “ow––don’t pinch me––sakura, are you…. how are you?” he moves to sit up, but sasuke has his arms locked around him, not letting him. 

a smile work its way up sakura’s face. “i’m fine, naruto. glad you both are okay.” 

naruto beams at her, a giggle slipping out as…sasuke keeps pinching him? tickling him? sakura edges closer to the door. “i have to go to the hospital, so i’ll just show myself out. naruto, don’t forget about work.”

“i never do.”

“right.”

with a shake of her head, sakura slips out of the room. 

 

 

sakura looks up from her stack of paperwork, rubbing a hand over her eyes. her mother handed the pile to her when sakura walked in late, coming straight from visiting sasuke. her mother didn’t continue their earlier argument thankfully, but sakura knew she was still angry from the mass of files, her mother ignoring the fact that tsunade had wanted sakura to observe a surgery. 

tsunade, the head medic, technically has the authority to make sakura, a medic-in-training, prioritize the observation of a surgery over reviewing the hospital’s financial statements, but it’s a constant tug-of-war between sakura and her mother, and this time––for this round––sakura’s mother won. 

sakura stretches in her chair, her back cracking in a few loud pops. 

“still working?”

sakura jerks in her seat, her breath catching for a second, before releasing it all in a burst of laughter. framed in the doorway, ino stands there with her arms folded over her chest. her eyes track the movement of sakura’s hands, going from over sakura’s head to her palms slapping against the old desk as she nearly falls over in her seat. 

ino barks a laugh. 

“not funny,” sakura chides, but there’s no bite in her tone. she twists in her seat to look out the window, the pink sky telling her just how long she’s worked. she looks back at ino. sakura has become used to the chemical clean smell, but as she shifts in her seat, she’s reminded just how overpowering it is. 

“did you _just_ finish at the lab?” 

ino shrugs noncommittally. “i was in the area and had a feeling you’d still be here” she puts a hand on her hip, her high-to-low purple skirt providing a clear view of ino’s colored tights and thigh-high flat-heeled boots. sakura likes ruffles on her own dresses, but practicality won out once she started working with her mother. ino, however, doesn’t compromise. for instance, ino’s ruffled shirt with the bell sleeves is _not_ fit for her lab work, so she often changes outfits twice a day. she has her cloth bag slung over her shoulder, most likely her clothes stuffed inside. 

sakura stands from the desk, taking a moment to stretch again. she starts straightening up her things. “i think if i stay here any longer,” she admits, “i’ll fuse to the seat.”

“good, then let’s go.” 

ino stands just behind sakura’s shoulder as sakura locks up the office, meandering through the hospital halls with her on their way out. they walk outside, catching sight of a lamplighter making her rounds around the district. 

“congrats,” ino says. 

“huh?”

“last night. sasuke won.” 

sakura looks sidelong at her friend, and the smile on ino’s face is genuine. the years have been kind to them all, softening prior frustrations, easing jealousy. ino still doesn’t care much for sasuke, but that’s more to the fact that sasuke often outwardly looks like he’s smelled something unpleasant rather than anything he’s actually done, and ino has a hard time admitting when she’s wrong. 

ino asks, “did you see him?”

“i did. he’ll be fine.” sakura knows that ino must have heard the gossip around town, that she must have heard all the different theories about cheating and rigging the fight. she expects her friend to bring it up, to offer her two-cents on it all, but ino doesn’t. 

they walk beside each other in silence. 

sakura considers how they’ve all changed over the years. sasuke and naruto…and ino. she wonders if she’s changed just as much. 

“ino, i––”

“––think you’re doing?” 

the fierce voice jolts sakura out of her head, out of her quiet contemplation. the street is thick with people as they make their evening rounds, but the tide of bodies parts for her to see a small vendor’s cart laden with fruit. the vendor, a middle-aged man, has lunged over it, his hand snagged on a small wrist. sakura absorbs the sight of the man seizing the much smaller child in his thick fist. her footsteps slow.

the vendor gives the child a shake, screaming in his face. sakura can’t hear the words, just the sound of his rough voice and the rapid movement of his mouth. the set of the man’s shoulders jump as he jerks the child forward, forcing the boy’s hand open to drop the apple he clutched. 

sakura watches the apple fall to the dirt, and the man grabs the child by his shirtfront. his toes barely scrape the ground. 

“what’s wrong here?” sakura strode quickly to the fruit cart, and she stands there, looming at the man’s shoulder, gripping her case tight in her fist. she moved without thinking of it, charging to the fruit cart before ino could stop her. did ino stop? does she know sakura’s beside her no longer?

the vendor looks up mid-tirade and frowns at sakura.

sakura sees the indecision in the man’s face––the struggle between yelling at her too or regaining his composure. he finds himself somewhere between the two, the little boy’s wrist still clamped in his fist. he snaps, “i’ve got a thief here! this the second time this week, and i won’t stand for it.” he looks back at the boy, squeezing him harder and narrowing his eyes. “it’ll be straight to the fields for you. you hear?”

the little boy has dirt streaked across his face, his hair tangled in knots. he could be no more than seven or eight. he gasps as the man clenches his fist, and sakura’s frown deepens. 

she steps closer, laying her hand over the fist that clutches the boy. she takes a deep breath, steadying her voice. “let him go. i’ll pay for what he’s taken––”

“it’s ruined now!” the man harumphs and jabs a thumb at the apple in the dirt. 

sakura firms her chin. “fine. i’ll pay for two, then.” she digs around in the pouch at her hip and holds out her palm. “but you need to let him go.” 

the man looks between sakura and the boy, and finally–– _finally_ ––he releases the kid. in his second hand, he jingles her money, as if physically weighing the decision he’s made. he jabs a finger at the boy. “i don’t wanna see you anymore. got it?”

sakura steps between the man’s finger and the boy and says, “we understand.” sakura grabs an apple from the cart and passes it to the boy before tugging him away with her free hand. sakura searches the crowd for ino. where is she? 

as she leads the boy away from the angry vendor, she asks, “are you hungry? can i––”

but before she finishes, the little boy wriggles out of her grip. in his haste to get away, he drops the new apple, and there’s a moment where the boy hesitates, warily staring at sakura before diving to snag it, like she might make a grab for him. 

the boy darts around a family, the mother shrieking as he pushes around her skirts, and he’s gone.

“what happened?” ino lays a hand on sakura’s shoulder, peering at her. “i looked up and only saw, like, half of that. you alright?” 

“i’m fine.” sakura looks to where the little boy disappeared, her heart heavy. the boy reminded her of naruto. or…no. the boy reminded her of naruto in the way his clothes were dirty and torn, his bare feet covered in dust. did he have someone to run back to? someone to comb his hair and hug him? 

if he’s stealing food…. sakura curls her fists. 

the vendor yells something at their backs, barking out a laugh, but sakura doesn’t quite make it out. but ino seizes sakura by her shirtsleeve, tugging her away. she makes a rather rude gesture with her fist over her shoulder at the man.

the silence growing between them as they stride away, and sakura feels it acutely. she bites her lip and tries to search the crowd for signs of the boy, but no luck. he’s gone. 

ino still hasn’t asked about it. she just walks at sakura’s side, setting a quick pace. not quite running, but walking briskly enough for sakura’s heart to beat quicker. yes, that’s why her heart beats fast. the questions she imagines ino asking settle on her shoulders. admonishment–– _“why’d you do that?”_ disapproval–– _“you expected differently?”_ she feels ino’s millions of questions pushing against the silence; she braces for them, feeling them bubble between them, until sakura finally blurts out, “i couldn’t just stand by.” 

_no longer. no more._ she had done too much waiting and watching already.

ino’s peel of laughter wrenches sakura out of her thoughts. 

she looks at her friend, her eyes crinkled with her eyebrows upturned, a knowing look. “that doesn’t surprise me.”

“what do you mean?”

“huh?”

“i– what do you mean by that?”  
ino shrugs, taken aback by sakura’s own confusion. “i don’t know. nothing’s ever stopped you from helping others. you know.” ino shakes her head. “the whole thing with naruto? you’d sew up the holes in his pants and bring him food. you’ve patched him up––sasuke too––more times than i can count.” she chuckles. “that’s just…. that’s you.” 

by now they’ve broken away from the busy district center and stepped onto a side street, feet pulling them in the same direction. their houses are in the same direction, so they have a bit longer. ino slows the pace, and sakura matches her. 

sakura weighs ino’s words, carefully evaluating them. for some reason, her cheeks feel hot. “are you… you’re not lying?” 

“of course not.” ino’s face twitches; it rumples in slight distress, exasperation. “sakura, i gave you that knife for a reason.” 

her heart still beats fast though their feet have slowed to a dawdle. 

_“you can really do damage with it. if you want.”_ the way ino had lingered over the word “you,” implying that the choice was sakura’s. has always been sakura’s. ino’s father is a blacksmith, and not for the first time, sakura thinks of ino drawing up the design for the knife, showing it to her father. 

gifting it to sakura. 

she thinks of the flower-decorated handle, the short yet sharp blade. 

sakura’s knees feel weak. “ino, do you….” 

ino’s blushing too, she thinks. the girl quickly turns her face away. “like i said, it’s strong as hell. i…” she trails off and then declares in a semi-strangled voice, “i thought it fit you.” 

sakura’s heavy case almost slips from her fingers. how could she have missed the signs? this whole time? her arms tremble and her stomach twists in a fearful knot. she isn’t misreading this, right? her thoughts jump from one to the next, racing to figure out the truth, although it’s been staring at her this whole time. 

“ino, do you–– are–– why’d you give this to me?”

ino glances at sakura, catching the serious look on her face, and glances away just as fast. “because you’re my friend. you…mean a lot to me.” 

“no.” sakura snags ino’s arm to prevent her from walking forward. a surge of confidence rushes through her, fueling the fire. “i don’t believe that.” 

ino looks like she’s been backed into a corner, eyes wide. her satchel slips from her shoulder, but she makes no move to fix it. 

sakura laughs; she just berated sasuke for being oblivious in the face of others’ feelings. maybe ino was right. maybe they’re more similar than sakura would like to admit. 

“wh– what’s funny.” ino doesn’t join in on sakura’s laughter, looks off-put by the smile that snakes onto sakura’s face, utterly frozen in her grip. 

sakura wants to force the truth from her, to find the answer she suspects––the one that she _needs_. but…sakura forces her thoughts to stop racing, to halt them in place. how cruel it would be of her to weasel the truth from her friend, when she’s never considered the nature of ino’s feelings before now.

and, although her whole being seems to like the idea of ino in love with her, this is all much too fast. she doesn’t want to hurt her best friend. better to tread with light feet and consideration.

she’s gotten good at protecting secrets, after all.

sakura releases ino’s wrist. “thank you,” she says, speaking honestly. “i think i see what you mean.” 

ino looks to be caught between relief and trepidation, not sure which one to feel. “you– you do?”

“i do. you’re a good friend, and i’m thankful for you.” 

“oh, shut up.” 

that finally breaks the tension, both girls erupting in shared laughter. “c’mon,” ino says, shaking her head. “let’s go home.” 

much is left unsaid between them, but when ino slings an arm around sakura’s shoulder, pushing them onward, leading them home, sakura is grateful that even though so much has changed, this at least never will.

**Author's Note:**

> \- alternative title: "i genuinely apologize for how i was in middle school."  
> \- second alternative title: "(sakura voice @ sasuke) i don't know if i'm in love with you or want to be you"  
> \- sorry this was a little low on the sakuino content, but if i keep writing this au, then i'd like to revisit their side of things! don't worry, sakura just doesn't want to rush into anything, but she's definitely galaxy braining right now  
> \- thanks for reading! ✨


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